There’s something fascinating about the way groups operate, whether it’s a team at work, a family at home, or a social circle. Over the years, I’ve noticed two distinct types of cultures within these groups, and each comes with its own strengths and challenges.
The first is what I’d call the achievement-driven culture. Here, success is celebrated loudly. People share their accomplishments, big or small, and the group collectively cheers them on. It’s motivating because it pushes everyone to aim higher. Even minor victories get recognition, which boosts morale and keeps the energy up.
However, there’s a downside. Over time, this can turn into unhealthy competition. Some thrive in it, but for others, constant comparison becomes exhausting or discouraging. Collaboration starts to take a backseat, and mistakes get buried—because admitting you’re struggling feels like admitting you’re not good enough.
Then there’s the growth-driven culture. This one is built on openness. People share not just their wins but also their struggles and failures. It’s the kind of environment where someone says, “I’m having a hard time with this,” and instead of judgment, they get advice or support. In these groups, problems aren’t flaws to hide, they’re opportunities to learn.
This culture fosters trust and creativity because people feel safe taking risks. But it’s harder to maintain. It requires everyone to set aside their egos and create space for vulnerability.
How Culture Plays Out in Real Life
Take families, for example. In some households, kids are only encouraged to share their successes: the A+ grade, the winning goal, the promotion at work. But they quickly learn to stay silent about mistakes, like a bad test score or a failed project, fearing criticism or disappointment. In other families, kids are asked open-ended questions at the dinner table: “How was your day? What went well? What was tough?” This shift creates a culture where everyone learns from one another, where advice is shared, and struggles are normalized.
The same dynamics exist at work. Some companies celebrate only wins, driving employees to outshine their peers. While this can produce results, it can also create burnout and mistrust. Other workplaces foster collaboration and growth, where teams solve problems together and celebrate progress, leading to better, more sustainable success.
So how do you go from zero [a disconnected or chaotic culture] to hero?
By combining the best of both worlds.
Here are a few practical ways to build a strong, balanced culture:
- Celebrate achievements, but value the journey. Recognize wins, but also highlight the effort and lessons learned along the way.
- Make space for vulnerability. Create an environment where people feel safe sharing not just what went right, but also what went wrong. This builds trust and resilience.
- Ask better questions. Shift from “What did you accomplish?” to “What did you learn today?” or “What challenged you this week?”
- Model the behavior you want to see. Be open about your own struggles and receptive to feedback. When you lead by example, others feel safe doing the same.
- Follow up and share updates. When someone shares a challenge, encourage follow-ups. Ask what steps were taken, what worked, or what didn’t. This not only builds curiosity but also creates a culture of shared learning.
- Recognize the power of sharing. Sharing struggles and ideas can help you see things differently. Others might suggest solutions or perspectives you wouldn’t have considered on your own.
Building a great culture doesn’t happen overnight. It’s about creating small, intentional habits that build trust and connection over time. Whether you’re leading a team at work or strengthening your family bonds, the goal is the same: to turn a group of individuals into something greater than the sum of its parts.
Because a truly great culture isn’t just about winning, it’s about growing together.